Funny Equation

Equations! - This is the best I have read in a LONG time


++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkeys

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Listen to this man

Very Good Article on Late sitting -
Email from the boss

Mail sent by Narayan Murthy to all Infosys staff:

It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...
And who's at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look....

All or most specimens are ??
Something male species of the human race...

Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors... .

And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... 'What's there 2 do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late...Importantly no bossssssss!! !!!!!!!!!'

This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.

Bachelors 'Passing-Time' during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what r the consequences. ..

'Working' (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.

With bosses more than eager to provide support to those 'working' late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).
They aren't helping things too...

To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between 'sitting' late and 'working' late!!!

Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.

So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family.... office is no longer a priority, family is... and
That's when the problem starts... b'coz u start having commitments at home too.

For your boss, the earlier 'hardworking' guy suddenly seems to become a 'early leaver' even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.

People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers. ..

Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as 'not up to it'. All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on 'working' not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.

So what's the moral of the story??
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time ' unless really needed '
* Don't stay back unnecessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.

There are hundred other things to do in the evening..

Learn music...

Learn a foreign language...

Try a sport... TT, cricket..... ....

Importantly, get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town...

* And for heaven's sake, net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.

Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *'Life's calling, where are you??'*

Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!

IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.

PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

Regards,
NARAYAN MURTHY.

Truth Behind Taj Mahal

No one has ever challenged it except Prof. P. N. Oak, who believes the whole world has been duped. In his book Taj Mahal: The True Story, Oak says

the Taj Mahal is not Queen Mumtaz's tomb but an ancient Hindu temple palace of Lord Shiva (then known as Tejo Mahalaya ) . In the course of his research Oak discovered that the Shiva temple palace was usurped by Shah Jahan from then Maharaja of Jaipur, Jai Singh. In his own court ch ronicle, Badshahnama,

Shah Jahan admits that an exceptionally beautiful grand mansion in Agra

was taken from Jai SIngh for Mumtaz's burial . The ex-Maharaja of Jaipur still retains in his secret collection two orders from Shah Jahan for surrendering the Taj building. Using captured temples and mansions, as a
burial place for dead courtiers and royalty was a common practice among Muslim rulers.

For example, Humayun,Akbar, Etmud-ud-Daula and Safdarjung are all buried in such mansions. Oak's inquiries began with the name of Taj Mahal. He says the term " Mahal " has never been used for a building in any Muslim countries from Afghanisthan to Algeria . "The unusual explanation that the term Taj Mahal derives from Mumtaz Mahal was illogical in atleast two respects.

Firstly, her name was never Mumtaz Mahal but Mumtaz-ul-Zamani," he writes. Secondly, one cannot omit the first three letters 'Mum' from a woman's name to derive the remainder as the name for the building."Taj Mahal, he claims, is a corrupt version of Tejo Mahalaya, or Lord Shiva's Palace . Oak also says the love story of Mumtaz and Shah Jahan is a fairy tale cre ated by court sycophants, blundering historians and sloppy archaeologists Not a single royal chronicle of Shah Jahan's time corroborates the love story.
Furthermore, Oak cites several documents suggesting the Taj Mahal predates Shah Jahan's era, and was a temple dedicated to Shiva, worshipped by Rajputs of Agra city. For example, Prof. Marvin Miller of New York took a few samples from the riverside doorway of the Taj. Carbon dating tests revealed
that the door was 300 years older than Shah Jahan. European traveler Johan Albert Mandelslo,who visited Agra in 1638 (only seven years after Mumtaz's death), describes the life of the cit y in his memoirs. But he makes no reference to the Taj Mahal being built. The writings of Peter Mundy, an English visitor to Agra within a year of Mumtaz's death, also suggest the Taj was a noteworthy building well before Shah Jahan's time.

Prof.. Oak points out a number of design and architectural inconsistencies that support the belief of the Taj Mahal being a typical Hindu temple rather than a mausoleum. Many rooms in the Taj ! Mahal have remained sealed

since Shah Jahan's time and are still inaccessible to the public . Oak asserts they contain a headless statue of Lord Shiva and other objects commonly used for worship rituals in Hindu temples Fearing political backlash, Indira Gandhi's government t ried to have Prof. Oak's book withdrawn from the bookstores, and threatened the Indian publisher of the first edition dire consequences . There is only one way to discredit or validate Oak's research.

The current government should open the sealed rooms of the Taj Ma hal under U.N. supervision, and let international experts investigate .

Do circulate this to all you know and let them know about this reality.....

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH.......

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……
FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE… TAKE A LOOK: (and you would find why...!)


1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
—————————————-

2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support : “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

————————————————–

3) Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer : “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”

————————————————–

4) Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

————————————————–

5) Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support : ##### ***

————————————————–

6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ******_____####

————————————————–

7) Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.”

Tech support : ////—–+++
————————————————–

8) Customer : “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Tech support : ??????

————————————————–

9) Customer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ?!%#$
————————————————–

10) Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????

————————————————–

11) Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support : “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Tech support : @@@@@
————————————————–

12) Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

————————————————–

13) Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”

Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support : “Well?”

Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”

Tech support : *** —- ++++
————————————————–

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The, tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

————————————————-
Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your, computer?

JJJ

National Level Workshop

Gensilico : A private organization is going to conduct a National level workshop on “PHARMATICS” and they are providing Hands on job Training  in Pharmaceuticals Informatics . The workshop will be held in Salem for ten days which is dated on May 10th to May 20th  .They have planned to conduct this workshop with the help of Vysya college at Salem

                                                                     
Topics covered

1. Pharmacoinformatics
2. Drug design
3. Molecular modeling
4. System biology 
5. Chem informatics
6. Participants

Participants:

Under graduates and post graduates from the disciplines of life sciences, research scholar ,faculty members and industrialist are eligible to participate

Workshop Fee :

The participants are requested to pay the workshop fee of rs 2500 which include Registration fee , workshop kit ( course materials, software package cd, writing accessories ,bags) working lunch and refreshment

Registration :

The participants should conform their registration by paying fee rs 500 through DD in favor of “The principal,Vysya college payable at Salem “ should be send to the college address with Resume & Photo


Contact person
R.Duraiswamy                    
Head of dept - Biotech                                                M.S.Kumaran
Vysya college                                                            H R MANAGER
Ph 9443892481                                                           Gensilico Biosolutions
                                                                                    Ph 9566068988

Nothing Is Impossible by a Man

Hi followers , Here i am going to show the few natural talents of a man , This following figures shows that a man can do every thing by his presence of mind with a little hard work.

Stagnation of 17000 Filghts

LONDON – Admiral added connected no-fly restrictions over Europe Saturday as a vast, airy alias of dust connected to breaker out of an Icelandic abundance and alluvion beyond the continent.

The flight ban seemed acceptable to agitate world leaders' affairs to appear Sunday's accompaniment burial for Polish President Lech Kaczynski and his wife Maria in the southern burghal of Krakow.

South Korean Prime Minister Chung Un-chan was the aboriginal to advertise he was abandoning his cruise to Poland. An 11-member appointment led by Chung had planned to leave on Saturday, said Shin Bu-seop, an official of the prime minister's office.

So far, President Barack Obama, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and German Chancellor Angela Merkel are still on the account of attendees. Kaczynski's ancestors insisted Friday they capital the burial to go advanced as planned but there was no abstinent the ash billow was affective south and east.

The air cartage bureau Eurocontrol said about two-thirds of Europe's flights were canceled Friday, as air amplitude remained abundantly bankrupt in Britain and beyond ample chunks of arctic and axial Europe.

The bureau said about 16,000 of Europe's accepted 28,000 circadian flights were canceled — alert as abounding as were canceled a day earlier.

Planning to buy a 50,000 electric car by French Govt

French Govt have announced that , The Branded new 50k electrical automobile-vehicles are going to be launched in their states . Environment Minister Jean-Louis Borloo have confirmed this source to the press meet on Tuesday(13th April).

A tender to accommodate the cars to a accumulation of 20 at atomic partly state-owned companies is to be able in the upcoming future. These companies consists Air France, activity supplier EDF, and the state-owned abuse arrangement.

In addition, Paris will offer a benefit of 5,000 euros ($6,800) to all private individuals who going to buy an electric auto by the year 2012.

Restart your windows without restaring your PC

When you click on the SHUTDOWN button,

make sure to simultaneous press SHIFT Button.

If you hold the Shift key down while clicking on SHUTDOWN button,

you computer would restart without restarting the Computer.

This is equivalent to term "HOT REBOOT".

Greetings from SPINE Charitable Trust

Hello Friends!

    Greetings from SPINE Charitable Trust!  SPINE (Service to People In Need Everywhere) is a registered charitable Trust. SPINE was established in the year 2007, by a group of Social work students. We believe that every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man, but we have disappointed God by allowing various acts that directly and indirectly destroy the wellbeing of children. Our intervention is the need of the hour. Yes, so is SPINE’s! We are reaching out to children working and living in Brick kiln Industries by providing them education which is their right! A treasure that will help them live and prosper like any of us. SPINE’s mission is the establishment of The Freedom School (Child labour school). The Freedom School will enrich the lives of many children who will regain their lost education and thereby finding Life.

      

          We are in need of funds to help these 60 children attain their education. From our hearts we request you to make your valuable contribution either in cash or kind! SPINE will be grateful to you and your family and assure the right use of your contribution. Achieving and realizing dreams is the goal of many individuals but few privileged  individuals realize their dreams as helping many other hopeless individuals to achieve their dreams. Yes, let’s take every opportunity to heal the world and make it a better place! Be the instrument of love!

The following are the needs presented by our children in the chamber:

Your browser may not support display of this image. à OUR NEEDS:

    * Your love and support.

    * A Life through education

    * A school!

    * New books and notebooks

    * Colourful and informative charts

    * Colour pencils, crayons, sketches…

    * Pencils, rubber, erasers, pens, chalks..

    * Slates and chalks

    * Floor mats

    * Duster

    * Play materials (toys, etc)

    * Plastic water drum (with tap)

    * Colouring books and crafts

    * Registers and books for our teachers

    * Funds for our everyday lunch and sundal (snack)!!

      (Requires 25,000 every month or can sponsor Rs.500 Per Day)*

    * Dustbin for the class

    * Funds for teacher training and workshops

    * Whitewashing materials either in cash or kind

    * Salary for our 3 teachers(Rs.1500 per staff)

    * First – Aid  kit

    * School bags

    * Fund for monthly programmes, medical camps and other events.

Your benefits:

    * Heavenly blessings

    * You are the reason for our smiles forever

    * A life like any other child and even better. Thank you Anna /Akka ;-) please visit us!

“PLEASE SPONSOR US WITH  ANY AMOUNT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AS WE ARE STARTING THE SCHOOL ON MONDAY 22ND FEBUARY 2010 “

              

      FOR MORE DETAILS CONTACT: 9884903339, 9884907775 and 9841444448.

Live your life like a fried egg

In prosperity our friends know us;

In adversity we know our friends.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of

listening when you would have preferred to talk.

Look at everything as though you were seeing it either

for the first or last time.

Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.

One who gives happiness cannot give sorrow.

One who gives sorrow, cannot give happiness.

Where there is happiness there cannot be sorrow.

A knife wound heals;

A wound caused by words does not.

You are not only responsible for what you say,

but also for what you do not say.

Life is overflowing with the new.

But it is necessary to empty out the old

to make room for the new to enter.

A True love Story

This is a story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chennai.


Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.


She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar.


Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.


You would never found her without handphone. In fact she also changed her cell connection from Aircel to Vodafone, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar.
Priya's family knew about their relationship. . Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love) .
Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so,but still cant. Everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.
Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.



He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.


All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away..


After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....


Shankar :.....'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.


Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'


Her mother replied..... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.'
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool  me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'.
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.

Shankar was shaking.

Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. 'see this is from Priya, see this....' he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.

It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the grave box

They were so shocked and asked for the same person's

(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter.

He & his master

worked for 5 hours.

Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them....

Pennagaram political temperature peaks

Campaign for the Pennagaram byelection, scheduled to be held on 27 March, is set to hot up, with leaders of political parties, including Chief Minister and DMK president M Karunanidhi, AIADMK general secretary J Jayalalithaa, Deputy Chief Minister MK Stalin and DMDK leader Vijayakanth planning to hit the campaign trail next week.
.
While Karunanidhi is likely to address a public meeting at Pennagaram on 24 March, Jayalalithaa will tour the constituency on 22 and 23 March. PMK leaders, including its founder S Ramadoss, were the early birds as they went into campaigning mode several weeks ago.

Jayalalithaa is scheduled to speak at 18 places across the constituency canvassing votes for Anbazhagan, her party candidate. Stalin will also kickstart a three-day campaign in the constituency from 23 March in support of DMK candidate P N P Inbasekaran.

A host of Ministers including EV Velu, Veerapandi S Arumugam, K Ponmudy, K N Nehru, Suba Thangavelan and Thangam Thennarasu are already camping at Pennagaram and involved in a door-to-door campaign.

Actor-politician Vijayakanth, who is busy with his directorial debut Viruthagiri, will take time off from his shooting schedule and campaign for party candidate Kaveri Varman for five days from 21 March.

The DMK is leaving no stone unturned for ensuring victory in the byelection. For, the stakes are high for the ruling party, as it wants to maintain its winning momentum. The DMK-Congress alliance has won all the 10 seats that witnessed by-elections so far.

Winning Pennagaram, once its pocket borough, is a prestigious issue for the PMK as the party suffered total rout in the Lok Sabha elections last year. The DMDK, which lost its deposit during the past two bypolls, is under pressure to improve its performance in Pennagaram.

The AIADMK’s campaign seems to be lacklustre so far, but is expected to get a fillip with the visit of Jayalalithaa.
Leaders of the CPI and CPI(M) will step up their campaign in support of the AIADMK candidate in the coming days.